I overheard this conversation today.  No kidding.

First guy is putting some of those quick nuke hot dogs into the convenience store microwave and blurts out to his acquaintance, “I want to get a pet heron.”
His friend says, “Did you say a heron?  Why would you want a pet heron?”
He replies, “Cause it’d be really cool to say, ‘Hey baby, check out my heron.’”

At this point, I’m bewildered and kind of shaking my head while I stir my coffee.  Heron guy, who is watching the hot dogs cook, then says, out loud, no kidding, “They do plump when you cook them.  Like ~ethnicity removed~ children and ~other ethnicity removed~.”  Of course, his friend’s reply is a disgusted and astonished “That’s f*cked up man.”

The dude takes his hot dog out of the microwave and says “You’re right man, that was messed up. I probably don’t deserve a pet heron.”